Silverspring
by Bru21
Summary: "Time casts a spell on you, but you won't forget me"; Wanda and Clint have a special bond: "I have a favor to ask of you": Everyone lives. Not everyone exists: "Whose Clint?": You don't ever really forget those you love: "We're alive." "We exist." No one will remember: Clint&Wanda(Platonic): "And can you tell me was it worth it": Clintasha


Well, this is a strange one-shot that I typed up in a few days because I needed to express some pent up something-or-other... The title and lyrics are based on a Fleetwood Mac cover, but as this is kinda my 'Hawkeye One shot' collections' pieces, I'm basing off of Sucre's cover of the song (If you're interested, 'A Minor Bird' is a series of one shots on Hawkeye I did...years ago, now, based of Sucre's first album).

This is the most I'll ever acknowledge canon of AoU, and all the ideas I ever had swarming in my head of how to write after AoU joined into this one oneshot, which may make it convoluted but...God, I'm not a fan of AoU (as if you couldn't tell...) But, lately my Avengers hype is coming back, and while I'll always love Hawkeye (And Clintasha...) I'm also really in love with the relationship (non-romantic) of Clint and Wanda, and I've planned for a while now to do a new one shot series for Hawkeye based on Sucre's EP 'Loner'~ but this piece I wrote out so quickly and I knew it wasn't gonna fit in with the others I have planned so... I'm just posting it by it's confusing lonesome and hopefully one day soon I'll be back in this fandom with longer, more developed/less rushed/and non-AoU fics

Disclaimer: There is language, barely...one F-bomb I think. I own neither the characters nor the song~

I hope it isn't too confusing or that you enjoy this fic at least a bit!

* * *

 _I'll begin not to love you_  
 _Turn around, see me runnin'_  
 _I'll say I loved you years ago_  
 _Tell myself you never loved me, no_  
 _And did you say she was pretty_  
 _And did you say that she loves you_  
 _Baby, I don't wanna know_

* * *

"Who was that?"

Clint hides his shock, setting the phone down and shaking his head.

"Telemarketers. You'd think Fury could set up some sort of block for those calls…"

Laura nods slowly. She knows better, but doesn't push. It's something he learned to love her for.

"I'm going to check on Nathan…He should be waking from his nap right about now."

Sure enough, the crying of the toddler echoes from upstairs and Laura points at her cue. Clint smiles, watching her go, before turning back to the phone.

" _You saw what happened… On TV…. Wanda's getting hit the most. And you've heard of the Sokovian Accords by now, no doubt… You're not out of all this, you know that…" Natasha's voice softens, her sighing and she lowers it, "Clint, why don't you come back? Sign the Accords, and…and join the Avengers again. We need you. Wanda could really use you right now—you helped her before…She likes listening to you….We could all use you back right now…tensions are a little high, and…"_

 _Clint keeps his breathing steady, giving nothing away._

" _I'm retired, Nat."_

 _She sighs._

" _Yeah, that's what we're still calling it? You don't just walk away, Clint…you can't. This life? It'll follow you. There's no…retiring. For you, for me…There's hiding."_

 _Clint doesn't respond for a while, feeling the weight of Natasha's words hitting him. He knows everything she says is right. He's known far before her repeating all this to him._

" _I'm retired," he repeats, before hanging up on her._

Clint looks up after where Laura had been, trying to force himself to smile. His head drops and he looks to the floor, wondering if it's about time to replace the wood.

He'd stained it just a year ago.

* * *

When Cap calls, it's different.

It's not about signing the Accords.

It's about stopping soldiers, like the Winter Soldier (Bucky—Cap's brainwashed best friend). It's about saving the world. No politics, just a mission.

And it's honestly not too different from Nat's call.

"Nat told me you were retired and I…I wouldn't be calling you if I thought I could do this without you. But, truth is, I need all the allies I can get. Tony…he isn't listening. Bucky didn't do those crimes the TV says he did…there's more like him, but not like him, and we have to stop the-"

"-I'm in."

Steve is speechless for a moment.

Clint is staring out the window at his first son and daughter playing in the fields. Their mother is upstairs, asleep, as is the youngest of his children. They act so normal.

"Clint, think about this…you'd be on the wrong side of the law, and I don't…I don't want to take you away from your family…"

Clint keeps his eyes on his kids, thinking of them the entire time he answers.

"It's for them that we gotta stop these super soldiers, right?"

"If you're really in this…I need you to get Wanda, too. If you can…And, Sam says he knows someone, if you can find him too…"

Steve gives him the rundown of the plan, but Clint's thinking far beyond it. Yeah, he knows the target, but it doesn't stop with bus-driving some supers to Germany, or stopping some super soldiers. The target point is far past that, and he sees it.

Clear as he sees his kids playing outside the window.

* * *

"Where will you all go?"

It's something they've all been thinking the moment Steve appeared from the shadows, but not anything anyone spoke about. They stare amongst each other—mostly. Actually, very few of them can make eye contact.

Wanda's eyes are glued to the ground. She hasn't said a word since Steve busted them out.

It hadn't taken much for him to break the security system down for a few minutes—a trick Natasha had taught him, actually. When the cells with the least restrictions had opened, he'd embraced Sam—they were partners and, aside from Bucky, Sam was the closest to Steve. They'd been through nearly every mission together, and Sam never questioned the Captain.

Scott had awkwardly sauntered out of his cell, exclaiming this was the most _normal_ and least dramatic jail exit he'd encountered.

Clint had pushed past everything to get to Wanda's cell. He'd punched into the code pad hard enough to bust it and his knuckles, and when her second glass coated cage lifted, he was at her side immediately. Steve stepped from Sam to approach the two, wanting to apologize to them the most.

"Give me something-" Clint snapped. Steve didn't understand, but Clint was looming over Wanda's body, still sitting there in her state of trance, his own hands around her neck.

 _The collar._

Steve fumbled for a pocket knife, handing it to Clint.

Clint's fingers, starting to coat with trickles of blood from his knuckles, worked quickly to pop the collar off. When his work was done, in under a few seconds, he tossed the damned thing at the wall, hard enough to shatter at least a piece of it's hardware. He yelled, cursing, before dipping down and lifting Wanda. The entire time, she didn't move.

Steve knew now wasn't the time to say anything, other than "Follow me."

And he led his team out from that damned Raft.

And now, they were hours away, retreating from a craft they'd illegally bordered, standing firmly on a tarmac along the coast line in foreign soil. Steve of course had a way to get them wherever they wanted to—his new friend had assured him of that…

(T'Challa took no part in the break out, but he waits inside the tarmac for whatever requests Steve asks. Already inside with him awaits Bucky, ready to head to T'Challa's home country of Wakanda where he's agreed to be put into a cryogenic sleep—just for a little while)

It was just a matter of where they wanted, or needed, to go.

"Well, I've been a wanted man before… But, I think Pym can help me out…Hope will give me hell, but…I have to get back to my girl," Scott admits.

Steve nods. Right, _one ticket to San Francisco._

"I go with you, you know that," Sam shrugged.

Steve smirked.

"You might want to pack swim trunks."

Steve then turns to the archer and the witch, waiting still for them to respond. Neither are looking up at him. Steve wonders if this stunt, this civil war, has cost him…no, he's sure of it. He knows that their loyalty was tested—they were torn between their friends, their family, because of his stubbornness and because of his sense of justice. What had it cost for them to follow him?

All it had taken was a phone call to Clint and he'd "left retirement". Just like that. And was it really just because Steve _called first_? He knows Natasha called Clint, when to Accords were first commissioned. And Wanda? He knew Wanda followed Clint above the others—they had a bond. Must be the fatherly instinct. Or maybe his heart—They always joked Clint was the 'heart' of their team, but Steve knows they never thought much beyond the surface of the joke. He was just a man, trained in an archaic weapon. He didn't have a suit like Tony or Sam or Rhodes.

He didn't have powers like Wanda.

He was the most human, and not even just because of what he lacked—but what he _had_ that the rest of them didn't.

 _A family_. A life beyond being a spy.

"Back to the farm?" Steve finally pipes up, knowing that Clint must be most eager to return there. Clint looks lost in thought, still gripping Wanda by the shoulder, but startles to attention and nods.

"Yeah. I'll take Wanda with me."

She doesn't look up or try to argue—she just accepts whatever is decided of her.

Steve digs into his pockets, pulling forth some burner phones.

"Don't lose these. They have one number in them. You need me-"

"-We'll be there," Sam finishes. He doesn't take a phone. There's no point. He'll be by Steve's side anyway.

Scott is the first to gently pick one out, modestly thanking "The Captain" for the cell before glancing around, asking where exactly is the way to San Fran from here. Clint hesitates taking a phone, as does Wanda. Finally, he grabs two, pushing one into Wanda's hands, which she clutches to her chest. Clint is curt in his goodbyes, nodding at Steve and Sam, and yelling a final quip at Scott to lay low.

"I'm Ant-Man. Low is how I travel!" Scott remarks, before scrunching his face up in thought of whether that was the best retort he could come up with. He shakes his head, worrying himself over nothing, before they depart ways.

Steve gives Clint and Wanda a final look. Clint doesn't look back, but Wanda does. Her eyes are filled with hurt, but she still smiles at Steve. She doesn't regret it; coming to his aide.

He nods at her, a _thank you_ , and with his own eyes pleads for her to watch over Clint.

That's the last Steve sees of his team for a while.

* * *

When Clint and Wanda reach the town that's forty minutes out from his farm (the nearest) after nearly two full days of traveling incognito, he suggests they first get some coffee. Wanda hesitates (They're so close to his home? Doesn't he want to see his family?) but agrees.

She takes an all-black coffee. Clint waves off the waiter.

Wanda frowns.

"So, we're not here for coffee…you are not…what are we here for?"

Clint is leaning back in the booth, staring at Wanda. It's a mixture—of pride, of guilt, of admiration.

"Wanda…Do you still keep that photo of Pietro's?"

He knows it's a tough topic—Pietro. But, with Clint, Wanda can talk about him. In what little time they met, there was something there…. a bond that forged. Enough that Pietro sacrificed himself for Clint.

"Always…" She remarks, and then recalls how the guards on the Raft had stripped it from her. Steve had of course recovered their items, and she had the photo currently tucked in the breast pocket of her hoodie, but…

"Why do you ask?"

Clint smirks, lifting out his own wallet. He pulls out his own photo—one of his family. He's not in it. It's just his wife and three children—even baby Nathaniel Pietro Barton. Wanda is forever grateful for that homage Clint bestowed upon his son.

Clint hands the photo to Wanda.

She takes it, thinking he means to have her look at it closer, as if there's some profound detail to it, but when she shakes her head and attempts to hand it back, he shakes his head.

"Keep it."

"What?"

"I carried that photo….to remind me what I fight for—fought for. That's my family, but…," he chuckles, leaning in closer and wiping at his brow briefly before continuing, "Do you know how Laura and I met?"

Wanda shakes her head slowly.

No one does.

She imagines Romanov does—those two seemed to know everything about each other. It was Romanov who told Wanda about Clint's farm and family in the first place. Later, Natasha had shown Wanda the photo of baby Nathaniel, and Wanda had called Clint, grateful… They'd made it a thing to call, to check in on each other from time to time—mostly Clint asked how she was adjusting to the Avengers, and he'd give advice, and what little Wanda did ask about Clint's personal life was never anything profound or deep—usually topics of the day, like where are the kids at that moment or what's his latest farm chore.

"We were assigned."

* * *

Clint looks at Fury like he just told him they're actually Hydra.

"You're…assigning me a wife?"

Fury frowns. "The council…essentially, yes."

Clint scoffs, throwing his hands up.

"What the hell is this? I signed up to be a field agent, not to be arranged into marriage?! The fuck is this-!"

"-The council isn't happy with your little move you pulled."

Clint stops his protesting, sighing as his hands fall down to his side.

"For bringing in Natasha?"

"-For not killing the Black Widow."

Clint turns his head, frustrated, and rubs at his hair before raising his hands again in defiance.

"She's not-! I wasn't going to kill her, you saw her, she's every bit an asset-!"

"Oh, the council is grateful. They agree, she could be very useful, granted she doesn't turn on us."

"She won't." Clint proclaims.

"And I believe you. I believe in you."

"Sir…Fury, I'll watch her. I can appeal to her, I got her to cooperate, to come in…she won't turn on us!"

"She won't turn on you."

"…What?"

"The council is very aware that Miss Natalia Romanova will be a great asset to Shield…so long as her loyalty lies with you."

"The hell does that mean-?"

"Barton. The council can't risk the influence of the two of you on each other. If you get her to commit to our side, our cause, great. If she gets you, the only agent who has ever had the infamous Black Widow by the throat, to join her rogue cause...? That's two liabilities."

"So…the council is marrying me off? What sense does that make?!"

"They're hoping to realign your loyalty."

Clint is speechless. He stares at Fury.

"So…what? I get an Agent wife?"

"…I've set everything up. Off the books. You'll have a farmhouse, your home base safe house…"

"Does the council also order me to love this agent? To _fall in love with he_ r, as if we'd met and chosen each other ourselves like normal _fucking human beings_ do?!"

Fury doesn't look Clint in the eye.

* * *

When Clint meets Laura, she's already signed her half of the marriage contract. He uses a borrowed pen from an agent beside her and the wall to scribble his signature. The paper is then taken to be filed and officiated. It's after this that he nods and greets her. She smiles, says she's from records—never was or has been a field agent.

He jumps straight to asking her how could she agree to this. To marrying a stranger. A field agent who doesn't know or love her, who could die on a mission tomorrow…

She shrugs.

"I think in time, you could come to fall in love with me."

"That doesn't answer why you agreed to this."

"I didn't have a choice. This was my assignment."

He scoffs. Well, they have one thing in common. Marriages have been built off of less.

It takes them a year before they sleep together. It's not out of lust or love. It's just a drunken night where they're alone in this farmhouse that they've tiptoed around each other in like strangers for a year, and it's more like necessity than desire. They sleep together, but feel little. Clint still envisions Natasha half the time—how passionate she is while fighting, while sparring with him. How she literally risks bullets for him.

In the morning Laura and him joke over coffee. He tries to put everything into perspective—the same way Natasha dives for bullets for him, Laura waits in this house for him. It's unfair—to both of them.

All of them.

He looks up at Laura and tells her he wishes they weren't married.

He admits maybe if they'd even met regularly, he could've fallen in love with her.

She nods, inhaling deeply and simply saying, "I know."

He tells her he'll try to, though.

He'll try to one day love her.

* * *

"But…why should _I_ keep it...?"

"Because you hold onto pictures. And because I don't need it anymore…"

Wanda nods. They'll be returning to his home. He'll be spending the rest of his days out, hiding with his family. She's sure his entire house is filled with photos. She can't wait to see them all—to see the second life of this second father she's come to know. She smiles, foolishly giddy at the thought. If Steve is the big brother who she'll follow into battle and throw everything on the line for, and Vis is…well, _something_ to her…and then Clint is the father she lost while still so young. Clint is someone she lived so long without, but now…Now, she can't imagine a life without him.

* * *

It's three years into their marriage that Clint finally starts to look at Laura in a different light. He has to. She's his wife. She's retired as an agent—this is her job. To be the leash keeping Clint tied to Shield. The threat of Natasha leaving Shield is long gone, but still this arrangement, this farce, is sentenced to the two of them. And they bond over that. That Clint has met her family, and seen how loved and appreciated she is by them…How much they welcomed Clint into their family…

To see Natasha's eyes when she first is introduced to Clint's wife. Only he can read that flickering moment of…disappointment? Relief? Otherwise, she treats it like it's normal for agents to be married. And it is.

But they're not normal.

Laura and Clint talk about it, frequently—how messed up it is that they're living this lie of a marriage. They laugh, though, and three years later they leave off the word lie. Because, they are married. Clint comes home to Laura after long missions, and they sleep together. They're allowed to—they're married; they're consenting.

Laura bites her lip a lot, and Clint always wonders what she's thinking when she does. She's normally an open book—it's hard for her to hold her thoughts back.

Three years later and he finally tells her he loves her. It's not the deep love a wife deserves of a husband—the love Laura deserves. But he loves her enough that he respects her, that he returns to her. That he's agreed to live out her life with her.

She bites her lip, and says I love you back, but he knows there's more.

He knows she wants to say, "I love you more than you love me," or, "I know you love me, but you still love her more."

They both are thinking it, but neither say it.

When Laura becomes pregnant, Clint resigns himself to truly fall in love with Laura. When their first son is born, for a moment, he does love Laura—more than anything and anyone else in the world. And he loves his newborn son, and he loves them as a family.

And then Natasha arrives and Laura offers her to hold the baby and Clint's lie shatters.

Laura, the angel she is, understands. She suggests they name the third child after Natasha—hell, Natasha saved Clint from the mind control of Loki. She says it'll be their way of honoring Natasha. Clint sees it more as a way of Laura saying, "See? Here, I can give you what you want. I can give you Natasha—a daughter. I'll feed into the fantasy as much as you want-"

Clint is horrified at first, but Laura goes behind his back. She tells Natasha the good news, of "Baby Natasha" and Natasha is thrilled, honestly, for the both of them. And for the first time in their years of marriage, Clint sees the cunning woman who once was an agent—who married a man based on assignment.

He tells himself he loves this woman, but the kisses feel hollow and his own children, his beautiful children, feel like strangers.

They, and Laura, are always waiting for him, even after months, perfectly patient. As if they're all trained agents, all under contract, to wait at the farmhouse for Clint when he returns from missions.

This is his family, and he loves them.

* * *

An hour later, Wanda is imagining that _very_ scenario, tears streaking down her face and red energy encasing her hands and body. He c-can't…. He can't _ask this of her…_

But then, she understands.

Worst of all, she _agrees_.

* * *

When Tony makes the call, Steve is there. Sam is beside him, as is T'Challa.

Even Bucky is awoken and stands beside him.

Scott stands with a woman beside him, dressed similarly in a suit. He introduces her as Wasp. Steve smiles and nods at her. Under any other circumstances, he'd be initiating her into the Avengers. But, right now, isn't the time for meet and greets. Now is the time to fight this entity, this alien, threatening their planet; their home.

Tony is there, and with him is Banner and Thor and Rhodes. There's also new folk that Steve can hardly believe are real. Aliens—green skinned, tree-like…a racoon?

There's a man by Thor with a red cape that billows with a mind of its own.

There's that kid from Brooklyn.

And there's Vision, with Wanda protectively beside him.

Surprisingly, Steve needs a second glance to recognize the now blonde Natasha. She shrugs, commenting she needed a new look for hiding.

The gang and then some are all here.

Except Clint.

Steve has so many questions, for everyone, but this isn't the time or place. He eyes Wanda, briefly, and she looks like she has a million things to say on her mind, but she holds them back. This is a war, and the time for talking can come after the battle. And as they line up to face Thanos, he feels the strangest tingling in his mind—a fuzzy feeling, as if he's being watched, but he pushes it aside because the battle should be his only focus now.

Only when it's all over does the tingling end.

* * *

Wanda cradles Vision in her arms. He's recovering—rebooting, as it were. Having an infinity gem forcefully removed from him, killing him, only to be brought back to life (was he ever alive though...?) Is quite the ordeal.

Wasp, who Steve learns is named Hope, is tending to a severely bruised Scott.

"Go subatomic on me _one_ more time and I'll have any number of these… _heroes_ gathered here give you another round in lessons on punching."

Scott winces, but Steve recognizes how much care is laced in her voice. He's happy for Scott—he means to get to know the man more, after all this.

Natasha stands up after speaking briefly to Bruce, the both of them nodding neutrally, and stands just in time to catch Cap.

"Steve? Where's-?"

Steve stands there, waiting for Natasha to finish, but she doesn't. She stands there, frozen.

He looks about him— _was she shaken by something...?_

But he realizes it's not her. It's everyone.

 _Everyone_ is frozen.

Stark is posed, nursing his head to the side with a phone pressed to his ear—the screen illuminates Pepper's name. The kid from Brooklyn is mid jump, reaching for Thor's hammer as Thor, mid laugh, tauntingly holds it before him. Even Loki is there beside his brother, glowering as usual but…not trying to murder anyone.

Sam and T'Challa are both starring at the Guardians, as Steve came to learn them as, but none of them are moving.

Steve finds this makes the one with antennas even more so off-putting. There's something unnerving about her, but at least the murderous intent isn't glowing off of her like the… _sister_? Of the green one…

God, Steve needs _name tags_.

Steve starts to spin, looking for anyone, anything, that is the cause of this. And he discovers the center of it.

 _Wanda_.

"Wanda? What's happening? You can see and hear me, right? Why is everyone-"

"It's me." She admits. She's trembling as Steve approaches her. She's standing, and at her feet lies Vision, still recovering.

"Wanda…what are you talking about? What's going on?"

Wanda shakes her head, tears welling.

"He made me promise. He asked me to, I…I couldn't refuse him."

"What?" Steve asks, point blank. He grabs Wanda by the shoulders, but this makes her burst into further tears.

"Wanda, what's going on?!"

"I, too, would like to know."

They both turn as the Doctor approaches… _Strange_ , Steve recalls. His hand is encircled by green—an infinity stone, they all now are aware, and he walks towards the duo with his free hand turning like a dial.

"I thought I felt some magic trying to stop time…quite the trick. Where'd you train?"

Wanda sucks in her breadth, stepping back. Steve steps forward, between the two. Not that Strange gives off a threatening vibe, but because he has his own questions and he wants his answers first.

"She speaks of Clint."

Everyone jumps as Vision's eyes open, and in the most unnatural, robotic way, he rises, as if he's fully recovered. By the looks and sound of it, he is.

" _Vis_ -!"

"As I am not…as Thanos repeatedly pointed out, _truly alive_ , I do not fall under this spell you've cast…I'm sorry to have alluded you, Wanda," He says the last part as if he's truly sorry, and she sniffs at her tears, aware that she should have accounted for as much.

"Wanda, what's going on?"

Wanda whips back to Steve, whipping her eyes on her sleeves.

"It was only meant to be you, Steve…I _-I didn't_ …" she looks between Strange and Vision, more tears bubbling to the surface of her eyes and streaming down her cheeks.

"Wanda…Vision says this is about Clint. _Where is he_?"

Wanda is bawling now, holding her hand about her mouth, breathing in to finally, calmly, reveal what she knows.

"He…He made me promise and I…I didn't want to, I don't-! But…"

"Wanda…what'd he _do_?"

Steve feels his heart drop as Wanda tries to inhale air and blurt words out, both at the same time.

"H-he…He had me _erase him_!" She bursts at this. "He had me wipe their memories! I-I gave them new ones—f-fake ones! They…they'll never kn-know o-or recognize…Their _own father_!"

She collapses to her knees, and Steve is by her instantly. Strange feels rather left out, looking between the trio, and Vision looks longingly on, but appears to know already everything that's transpired.

* * *

They stand outside the farmhouse. It's early, and Clint remarks that everyone inside will still be asleep.

Wanda moves to approach the farmhouse, but Clint doesn't. She turns to look at him.

"Clint?"

"Wanda…I have to ask something of you. It's…not something you'll like. But, it's the only way…"

"Clint...?"

She doesn't like the look in his eyes. It's the look of surrender. It's the look of a dead man.

It's the eyes her brother Pietro had when she saw him, lying beside a wounded Clint who looked exhausted enough to be dead himself.

* * *

Steve is grasping at straws, trying to make sense of things.

"Wanda…what did Clint _do_?! What did he _have_ you do?"

"He…He asked me to erase th-their memories…his family…h-he couldn't return to them. N-not as a criminal…they w-were in danger, and so I-I took that from them…I t-took their _father_ from them! Her husband-! I-I replaced their memories with a man who does not exist, and had them m-move away…He burned the evidence, the f-farmhouse…everything. W-we traveled to every safe house he'd been to," she glances quickly at the frozen Natasha, a new flood of tears washing over her. "We infiltrated Shield—all record of him…I erased it all. I-I defiled his family's grave to e-erase their _son_!"

She keels over, hysterically wailing now.

* * *

She recalls the smell and sight of watching the farmhouse burning. Clint doesn't cry, watching all his renovations, his work…his memories…go up in flames. Wanda controls the smoke, keeping it bundled and low to the ground to not raise alarm.

Over the crackling of flames and her silent tears, Clint tells her how he and Laura…they loved each other, but it wasn't enough.

"She…they, will be better off without me. I realized that, when Cap called me…" he looks to her, "When he asked me to bring you, and Lang…When Natasha…when she first called me about the Accords, I gave it one last shot. I thought I…I thought I could do it. If I gave it all up. After Ultron, after Pietro and everything…" He looks apologetically at Wanda as she turns to face him, cheeks stained in tears.

"-but she was right. ' _For us, there's hiding_ ', she said…like _me_ —we don't just leave. It never goes away. Not when we run away, or _retire_ …This, Wanda…this is the only way." And Wanda sees the conviction in his eyes. She believes him, but God does she wish she didn't.

She cries at the cemetery, when Clint has her remove the markings on his brother's grave. No longer does it read "Loving brother"—just son. She knows it's wrong. She's not just erasing all of Clint, but parts of these people as well—anyone ever affected by Clint. She's his accomplice in all this and as much as it tortures her inside…she can't stop. Because Clint could ask anything of the world from her, and she couldn't refuse him.

He could ask her to kill him, and she'd follow his orders.

 _Because she loves him_. Not in the way a man loves his wife, or a daughter loves her father. She just loves him in her own way, of Wanda loving Clint.

Enough to _kill him_ , because he asked her to.

* * *

"A-and when we received the call…H-he made me make one final p-promise-!"

"-to erase our memories too…" Steve finishes for her.

She doesn't even nod, but Steve knows he's right.

Wanda cries heavily into her sleeves, finally looking up at Steve with swollen eyes.

"H-He was here…th-the whole time. B-but he…he made me hide him…from all of you!"

Strange nods, as if a puzzle piece had just been found. "I _knew_ it—I felt the magic presence in my mind, but at the time I wasn't as cautious as now and—how'd you _do it_ exactly? Was he in the Planar field or-?"

Steve cuts off Strange's questionings. _His_ take precedence.

"Clint _was_ here? What do you mean, Wanda? Where is Clint _now_?"

Steve looks around them at the fields, scarred and torn and burned as they are. He recalls the tingling. That was Wanda—that was _Clint_.

"Where is he? Is he _watching_ us? Is he frozen, too?"

Wanda sniffles.

"He's waiting."

"Waiting? Waiting for what?"

Wanda's eyes are clear and bright and her voice is so soft as she admits the harsh truth.

"To be erased."

* * *

"Clint? _Clint_?!"

Just as Wanda said he'd be, Clint is standing in the center of a clearing of trees, untouched by Thanos.

"Clint, what the _hell_ -?"

"-Language." Clint smirks, but he's shaking. There's multiply wounds on him and an entire branch of debris is embedded in his torso. It's a miracle he's standing. Steve, upon seeing this, sprints to cover the distance between them.

"Clint?! What the hell are you doing?! Come back with me, we can heal you—Wanda can-"

"She's already done enough for me," Clint admits.

"Clint…what are you _doing_? What is…what's all this about _being erased_...?"

Clint coughs, and to Steve's horror it's blood. It's like watching someone with tuberculosis all over again, back in the 1930s... His fists ball up; he could hit Clint, or hug him. Instead, he stands his distance.

"It was the only way to protect them, Steve…Besides, they didn't deserve me… _this_?" He smirks but it's bittersweet.

"A father who _says_ he's done, only to crave the fight, the thrill…one who's always leaving, one who may not come back one day? Who might die and leave them resentful?"

"But you're _not_ dead, Clint! You _can_ return to them-!"

"No…not this mission," Clint coughs again, but this time the blood does a funny thing. Against physics, it hits his palm and then floats up, as if gravity doesn't exist. Balled up and free-floating, the bubble of blood floats there in front of the two men for a moment before…dissolving.

"Wh-what's going on?"

"She's starting…"

Steve, in horror, watches as more of the blood that has boiled or leaked from Clint begins to rise, like a hose pouring into the sky, only to fade away until all traces of it is gone. Clint's eyes are a clear blue.

"Cl-Clint, make it stop. Make _her_ stop! _Wanda_!"

He yells, as if she'll hear him from all the way out here.

"Steve, it's over. You won't remember it, but it was an…honor to fight alongside you."

"St-stop talking like this, Clint. You're not…you're _not_ dying here."

He can hear Peggy's voice in the back of his mind, demanding he not be late to their dance on Friday.

"Clint! _Clint_ , make Wanda stop!"

"She won't…. She can't. She cast this spell months ago."

" _Why_?!" Steve begs.

"Because I asked her to. Because…I couldn't save her brother. And I thought…I thought taking her under my wing and keeping her safe would be enough to make up for that, but…she's never needed me. _I've_ always needed _her_."

"You're doing this over _guilt_ for Pietro? Clint-"

"-It's not just him. I told you, Cap…. It's better this way. I can't go home. I made that choice—no one else did. Remember when I said to win the war, some of us would have to lose this battle?"

Steve is crying, trying to wrap his head around this self-sacrificial thinking of Clint's.

"That…that was at the airport. And…A-and I came back for you. All of you—we _escaped_! We…we all _survived_ -"

"That wasn't the battle, wasn't the war… _this_ was." Clint smirks, and it's now that Steve recognizes that Clint's finger tips have begun to fade.

"I asked Wanda to send you, and you alone, because I…I didn't want to disappear alone. It's selfish but…but, once I'm gone, you won't remember any of this. No one will. Not even Wanda. It's part of the deal—the spell."

Steve stumbles backwards, disgusted.

"Wh-what about Natasha? Wh-why _me_? Clint, y-you can't…you can't _not_ say goodbye to Natasha-"

"Nat will never know. If I'm honest…this is mostly for her."

" _What_?"

"She thinks she owes me a debt…for sparing her. _Saving_ her, she says. She says she's got red in her ledger. She's putting her life on the line, and it all was because of me. She's an Avenger because of me. And she's a damn good one," Clint smiles, proudly and with tears brimming his eyes. Those, too, vanish almost instantly.

"But she wants to wipe out the red in her ledger. She thinks enough good deeds will do that, but the honest truth is… _I'm_ her ledger. And if this is what it takes, I'll wipe out her ledger _for_ her."

Steve is shaking his head. Clint's gone mad.

"Clint…Nat-"

"-I love her, Steve. I love her more than someone can love a person…more than I love my _wife_ … _loved_ …my _children_. More than I loved life itself. _Nat_ …. Nat, Tasha…she was _everything_ to me. But I _can't_ be everything to her—I can't hold her back. Not anymore."

He recognized it the day she called him to sign the Accords. She'd said it herself. He could never escape this life.

He'd never escape her.

And, in the same twisted way, she'd never escape him.

"Tell her this then! D-don't tell me! Clint, you…. You can't do this!"

Already, Clint's hands have faded. At the wrists, he raises his arms in a gesture of sorry to Steve.

"It's how it should be, Steve."

Steve shakes his head, refusing to believe in this.

"D-don't…Clint, _don't disappear_! D-don't throw your life…your _existence_ away!"

He stumbles back, fumbling to break into a run.

"I-I'm getting Natasha! Sh-she'll talk you out of this! You _can't_ disappear, Clint!"

Steve sprints with tears in his eyes, and Clint watches his friend- his Captain- and his retreating form.

Clint looks about the woods, smiling at the sunlight that's breaking finally through the smoke and clouds. He thinks of his son and daughter playing outside the window. Of baby Nathaniel in his hands. Of Laura on the night he said he loved her—when he meant it the most, and so did she. He thinks of the Avengers, and of Pietro, and Wanda. He thinks of Natasha. He knows her by her fiery red locks, but blonde looked good on her. He opens his eyes and everything is blindingly white.

 _It's beautiful._

* * *

"Wanda! _Wanda_ , stop! _Stop it_!"

Wanda is crumbled at Vision's feet.

" _I-I can't!"_

"Let Natasha go!" Steve halts in front of Natasha.

"Let her _go, Wanda_!"

Wanda crumbles, crying again into her wrists.

A moment later, Natasha is moving along her previous motion as if never having stopped.

"-Clint?"

She blinks, because in her eyes, Steve has gone from tired but proud, if a bit war-torn, to sweating and crying profusely. He's breathing heavily and he wastes no time grabbing Natasha's arm and pulling her along.

"We have to hurry!"

"Wha-?! _Steve_?"

Steve is picking up speed, and Natasha can barely keep up with him. Why are they running away from the others who, Natasha begins to notice, aren't… _moving_ …?

"Steve, what's going on?"

Steve keeps shaking his head, forcing himself to remember. He can feel that tingle in his mind and he knows it's starting—it's happening.

"We're…we have to find…Clint…"

"Clint? What's wrong? Where is...?"

Steve begins to slow, to stumble. He's gripping at his head, cursing a string of prayers for this to not be happening, _not now!_

"We have to…to…"

Steve falls to his knees. _No, don't forget!_ Clint, stepping out from washing his hands and immediately offering his service to fly Cap to New York. Clint, on missions, watching their backs; the sniper from above. Clint smiling with drumsticks in his hand, laughing and joking, only to occasionally speak softly in some other language to Natasha. It drove the tower nuts. Clint being hit in Sokovia, when they retrieved Loki's scepter. Clint introducing them to his family…Clint agreeing to Steve's call. Clint showing up, Wanda and Scott in tow, and Clint saying that…that to win the war, some…some battles…

 _Not everyone…is getting out…_

Natasha kneels by Steve.

"Steve? What's wrong? What about Clint?"

Steve is panting, his eyes wide. It's like his mind is being…pried and pulled at. Played with.

"Cl…wh-whose Clint?"

" _Whose_ Clint?" Natasha stumbles back, shocked.

"Steve, he's-"

 _My partner. The one I owe my life to. My friend. The only person in this world I'd give my life to in a heartbeat._

 _My soulmate. The only man I can't have in this world, but the one I l-_

And all at once her train of thought ends.

There's silence, and the two of them stand amongst the fields, the smoke, near the trees.

Natasha looks around them.

"Steve? Where are the others?"

Steve looks up from his crouched position.

He's just as confused as she is.

"Back there, aren't they?"

Natasha nods slowly, the unasked question being if everyone is behind them, why are they here…

Steve stands, shaking dirt off his knees before treading past Natasha towards the others.

She herself glances forward, towards the woods, briefly.

Was something out here?

"C'mon, Nat."

"Coming."

* * *

Back with the others, Wanda is curiously feeling at her cheeks—they're wet for some reason. Vision is holding her, but says nothing. T'Challa and Sam flinch as Drax breaks into a hearty laugh while Rocket throws a string of curses at him.

Scott leans in for a kiss from Hope, and for a moment she doesn't push him away. When the moment ends, however, she shoves him back and continues to bandage his broken wrist.

Tony leans back, sighing with relief when Pepper's chastising yell can be heard blaring through the phone. Thor sets his hammer down, allowing the overly excited kid from Brooklyn attempt to lift it. He can't.

Loki eyes Steve and Natasha as they march back into camp. He throws an exchanged glance with Strange, who looks confused—befuddled. As if he should recall something, but can't.

Loki bows his head before walking towards the Captain and Natasha.

Warily, Natasha jumps into a fighting stance. Steve remains rigid.

Loki simply stares at them, then looks to Wanda.

"Marvelous…that a mortal could hold that power…" He muses. He then turns his attention back to Natasha, who dislikes the way he eyes her.

He eyes her with…pity.

"After an ordeal like that, you'll never feel quite whole…believe me."

Steve interjects.

"We defeated Thanos. We'll survive just fine."

Loki scoffs, but again there's a trace of humility to it.

"You have heart, Rogers… _One_ of the purest I've ever come across." There's a tinge of insult to the comment, but again Loki gives Natasha a side glance, as if hoping to stir something in her.

She continues to glare at him, wondering where this conversation is going. Loki bows his head, admitting defeat. As a final quip, he asks, "Is everyone accounted for?"

Steve smiles.

"Today? Yes…Somehow," he shakes his head, because the odds were always against them, "Today, we're all here. We're alive."

Loki nods in agreement.

"We exist." He adds to the cheer.

Natasha looks back to the trees.

A part of her doesn't feel whole…

But Steve's right. Everyone survived. They all survived Thanos, the greatest threat in the galaxy.

Today was a victory.

* * *

A few months later, Wanda is cleaning through her wallet, looking for a particular movie stub that she wants to pin up beside a photo of her and Vis. She comes across something strange—a photo she's never seen before.

Of a family whom she's never met.

She catches Steve walking down the hallway, asking him if he knows anything about the strange photo. He glances at it, shaking his head.

"Some Sokovians maybe? Neighbors you took a polaroid of…?"

She shakes her head.

"I'll ask around if you want," Steve offers, but he's not convinced that'll accomplish anything.

Natasha smirks, intrigued by the mystery photo.

"No, it's…alright."

She runs back into her room, snapping the photo to her mirror. Steve follows her, inquisitively eyeing her decision to publicly post this mystery family on her vanity.

"She looks so happy…this mother? And these kids, they're…I wonder how old this photo is? How old they are now? Where's their father…?"

"Probably taking the photo," Steve shrugs.

Upon further inspection, Wanda notices something rather odd.

"The baby…the baby's name is 'Nathaniel Pietro Hastings'…. I don't know any Hastings, but…but the baby's middle name is Pietro…."

Steve smirks sadly.

"Maybe that's why you kept the photo."

Wanda nods slowly, but she's not convinced.

"Maybe after this mission, I'll find this 'Hastings' family and…maybe in person, they'll jog my memory."

"I'll come with you," Steve offers.

Wanda nods slowly, looking at every detail in the photo. A farmhouse porch, a mother smiling, holding the labeled newborn. A son and daughter, smiling at whoever is behind the camera.

Natasha knocks, announcing her presence.

"What're we talking about?"

Steve smiles, glad to see everyone welcomed back under the Avenger's base hold.

"Wanda is stalking some family."

"Steve!" Wanda chastises as Steve laughs. It good to be at peace…to be able to laugh, and have their guard down.

Natasha, interest peaked, approaches the vanity, staring at the photo.

"Huh…" She squints at it. "This family-you know them?"

"No," Wanda admits.

"Do you?" Steve asks, suddenly interested in how close Natasha is to the photo, examining every detail of it.

Wanda leans back onto her bed, staring as the other two are at the photo, engrossed by it. She wonders who the father is; where is he.

Steve crosses his arms. He's looking between Natasha and the photo, as if waiting for one of the two to jerk suddenly.

Natasha continues to stare at the photo, drawn to the baby.

"Nathaniel Pietro…" She reads in a whisper.

" _Fat."_

Natasha's eyes widen.

" _I think, subconsciously…I built a fail safe…"_

 _What Loki said._

Natasha looks between Steve and Wanda as…. something floods to her mind. It's not memories but…feelings. Feelings of overwhelming intensity; of a blank in her memory and a hole in her heart.

"Natasha?" Steve asks, suddenly alarmed.

"Do you remember something...?" Wanda asks, curious as well.

Natasha shakes her head.

"No. But… I should."

* * *

 _Time casts a spell on you, but you won't forget me_  
 _I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me_

* * *

 **A/N:  
** A lot to say about this one shot... Firstly, it's weird because this fic definitely reflects how I feel and AM today (weird how in my fics I can look back and see where in my point of life I was at~) and currently, I have just...the loosest definition of love, but at the same time this idea that it's so much bigger than just "family love" "friend love" "significant other love"; Like, I've met people who I just...feel like I love them, and will love them, and we're not romantically together but I know if I was with someone, or knew when I actually was with someone, that I'd still love these or this person more, but also in a different way...Does any of this make sense? So half this story is off of that idea-I think Clint loves Laura, because over time he grew to love her as his wife, but Nat (cause I'm a diehard Clintasha) he just...loves _more_. And I hate when fics make Laura out to be this evil character (In general, I jut hate AoU and will argue that her character shouldn't exist but I'm not so low-blow that I'll pull a 'Die For My Ship' on her...) so I really don't want her coming off as someone manipulating Clint. I just had toyed with this idea of Shield recognizing "We can't have these two agents falling in love" and so on some terrible thought-thread I thought "What if Laura and Clint were assigned to marry?" And so Shield is kinda playin' Clint's cards, like "Don't fall in love with Natasha cause you now have a wife and you can't cheat on her". Maybe he could've, but I think his morals prlly kept him from, or at least they hoped on that...idk, this is the "rushed-in" bit that I threw in because, again, I'm not going to explore anymore AoU plot-points if I can avoid them, so I'm getting them all out in this fic~!

So, maybe Clint comes across shitty because he loves his family, but apparently not enough to live? Or not more than Natasha? I don't mean to make Clint come off this way, but the real thick of this one shot revolved around the idea of Wanda erasing Clint-b/c that has always been my theory of what the MCU *coughShouldcough* could do to fix this married-with-kids problem (Not just for the sake of the ship I love, but because plot-wise it was really poorly devised and yeah after Civil War how does Clint just go home to the farmhouse..? Like, no, since day 1 of AoU I've been thinking Wanda is gonna Hermoine-Obliviate Clint's family's memories of him). So...yeah, that was really always meant to be the meat of this idea and story.

And More to why I'm hyped to write again for this fandom after all my inspiration dried up from AoU was because of all the new characters~! Like, in writing the scene where Wanda has only Steve unfrozen, it was fun being like, "wait..." and picking out characters who would recognize that time is frozen or their minds are being controlled. I'm sure Nebula, with all her modifications, or Mantis also avoided the spell, and I don't hint that Loki did initially, but it's implied he kept his presence hidden; he was unfrozen the whole time...Like, who knows, probably half the heroes avoided the freeze-spell, but I tried implying they all still couldn't avoid the memory wipe-maybe Vision did, it's ambiguous, and he just won't say anything, but for sure Loki avoided it.

And originally I wanted the story to end just on the most obsolete, nonchalant line-lke, Clint is erased. This epic one shot never happened. The end. But, I'm also a sucker for ambiguous endings and so I left it a little hopeful-kinda implying that Wanda subconsciously built a 'fail safe, like Selvigg had, in Natasha and so she'll be triggered and maybe there's an epic story after this one where they journey to bring back someone who doesn't exist~

But I won't write that story... It'd take too much plotting and it'd retrograde all the angst I've created~!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed at least some part of this one shot! It was interesting to write, and a good reliever of stress (A nice break~) and it's inspiring me to return to writing for my favorite Archer~! Hopefully just better next time!


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